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@funnymessage : Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring a

@funnymessage : Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.

@funnymessage : If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

@funnymessage : Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, "What size bucket?" and yo momma said, "The one on the roof."

@funnymessage : Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

@funnymessage : Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

@funnymessage : A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

@funnymessage : Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

@funnymessage : Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.

@funnymessage : On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.